Inspiration, anyone? Tieing lines?

Alright Hobbits, Muppets & wonderful creatures of all kinds...

THIS....is technically a 'writer's blog.' I have titled it such. On my website, it says 'See writer's blog:' and has a link to here that you can click. So it must be one.

I have been remiss, I feel, in posting or discussing what I'm working on in writing on here, so in lieu of the recent usual posts on ponderings, musings, current events & drenching tides of emotion... I am actually posting about writing today. Not much...but something.

I need to speak with someone. Or at any rate, get this the f*ck out...

I am writing a novel. And today:
I'm stuck.

This is Novemeber (apparently the kind of November that has an extra e thrown into it at that...nope I don't edit. Much. And it IS).

November: aka NaNoWriMo.

National. Novel. Writing. Month.   
(It really is. Look it up).

.....and I'm writing. Or trying. Kind of. I AM trying, though every time I seem to get a flow going, I am interrupted by an appointment & every time I suddenly find myself with time, my mind goes half blank.

I must admit I started my novel some time before this month began, in bits &
p(i before e, except after c)ieces  flashes, scenes, vague notions...

...and a GIRL. One girl. I had a girl in mind. She has many of the qualities I long for in myself, or feel (or wish, vainly) that I possesed....many similar odd likes/dislikes (or just oddities) to those of myself. But she is not me. And the more I write her, the more I know she is not me.

...And they are all me.

I feel torn between writing what is real & true...and writing a good story. Like I can't possibly do both.


Plot.   

...Is a silly, stupid, tricky thing.  And it's gettin' all wavy on me.

Mmh.  *(disgruntled noise)*

I write much better with other people or in a group effort. My inspiration thrives from other peoples energy & words: When I can turn to someone & say, "Give me a name." or "A consonant,  need a consonant...!" Or I propose a failing/contrived idea & someone says, well, how about we change this detail to __________ & this happens, and I can suddenly go, "No! Oh-ma-God I have it now! Thank you!" And begin to completely re-write the scene from a different person's point of view...

...I am writing this novel: Alone.

And right now, I'm stuck. Just: stuck.

No sooner do I find a name, than a month later, it tastes wrong in my mouth. I have a thousand scenes, but no way to tie them all together. A brilliant & overflowing (eh-hem)  vocabulary....until I need the words to describe or progress a situation & then its all 'ummmm....he-said......she-said....it felt like a.....' who knows, but something mundane & often repeated. Well, apparently EVERYTHING in this book happens 'suddenly.'


......o.O.....   (Double eh-hem). Dear God.

First it's Johny. Then suddenly, in the middle of hiking, I find out she has a brother...

.....she has a BROTHER?!  ....Ok. Well then why the hell hasn't he appeared til now? And what's his place in the REST of the book?! (Good name for him, though. Just came naturally, right away....good sign? I hope?) Then....ok, apparently she had a little sister (they had a little sister, remember? That changes the feel of it now, doesn't it?) ....who died? Ok. And it's her fault. Or...at least, she feels  like it is..........ok. Well....but why? And how? And.......are we ever gonna get to the plot/ If it's in there it has to have a reason....am I writing 5 different novels??
.....and then tonight: I discover they are TWINS??????!! Johny & her brother are TWINS?

What the hell am I writing?!

......ugh.

Exasperatedly yours,
~ G. "The Whistler"

....(nope. That's the OTHER blog, G.)

"Oy!"